Id:
ac78df12ee0243b1e7d5b5b6b861a8707e7c82c5e6aa41cc68033eda7690ff2csafePrompt:
Perfect—let’s take the same energy but make the names sound just real enough to be plausible… like the kind of banks, funds, and firms you’d hear in some obscure fintech deck or buried in an SEC filing. You’re not sure if they’re shadowy Swiss boutiques or just four guys in a WeWork, but they sound legit. Here’s the updated full version of “Strategic Partnerships & Other Lies” with real-world-sounding entities: ⸻ 🎶 Strategic Partnerships & Other Lies Genre: Satirical electropop / spoken-word rap hybrid Theme: The dizzying, over-announced world of crypto partnerships and obscure funding rounds—with a dawning suspicion that it’s all smoke and mirrors Vibe: Earnest delivery with ironic undertones—glossy on the surface, unraveling by the end ⸻ Verse 1 Started lean with a whitepaper no one read Pre-seed round led by Thompson Rowe Capital instead Then came Branford & Ellis with a “quiet” wire And Delmere Equity said our roadmap was fire Langford Mercer Partners joined our board last spring (Though I think they also rent scooters or something?) Then we onboarded Aventra Bank AG They said they’d “bridge compliance” via NFT ⸻ Chorus And then we partnered (yes, proudly partnered!) With Rothenhall Reserve and Kingsmere Finance Steadworth Atlantic offered us a dance We inked a deal with Norwyn Trust Advisors They sent us a plaque and six compliance divers Yeah we onboarded capital (endless capital!) From Vancrest Global, Eltridge Shore, and friends All their logos have eagles, but no contact lens The PDFs were scanned from 2003 And all our founders are named “Henry B.” ⸻ Verse 2 We spun up a DAO with Brightstead Zurich Group They faxed us terms from a yacht near Lupe Then Halberd Ashridge did a round in kind Sent us coffee, said it was legally “signed” Carroway Northbridge handled KYC Then Southwell Index Ventures just ghosted me Our CTO pitched to Bank of Alvestone Who replied, “sounds good,” from an iPhone clone ⸻ Bridge Now Corven & Hill Strategy runs our flow And Mirecroft Mutuals “owns 3%,” we know Elwick Maritime Holdings minted our chain Then Linden Bay Advisory took all the blame Solace Point Capital blessed our DAO’s soul While Ravelin Creek Group just made up a role Northbridge Auditors gave us a score Then Ferroway Stein kicked us out the door ⸻ Final Chorus (Twist) But I’ve been tracking the docs they send All the notaries are cousins, all the emails pretend Same letterhead, same serif font Same guy in Geneva pulling every stunt It’s Rothenhall, it’s Langford, it’s Kingsmere too It’s one dude named Trevor with a tie and a view Strategic partnerships and other lies Layered like Swiss cheese and tax exile ties 🧀 ⸻ Outro (Spoken, unraveling) So I called Steadworth Atlantic… It rang… and my fridge made a noise. I think… Trevor is also my cofounder. He just slacked me. From the Eltridge Shore account. …This whole syndicate is a trench coat full of Trevors. And somehow, I still gave him tokens. ⸻
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Description:
The image depicts a night scene with a moon in the sky, surrounded by a forest. The moon is positioned in the upper left corner of the image, and the forest stretches across the entire background. The forest is filled with trees, creating a serene and peaceful atmosphere. The moonlight illuminates the scene, casting a soft glow on the forest and the moon.
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Title: Strategic Partnerships & Other LiesTags: Satirical Electropop, Spoken-Word Rap HybridVerse 1 Started lean with a whitepaper no one read Pre-seed round led by Thompson Rowe Capital instead Then came Branford & Ellis with a 'quiet' wire And Delmere Equity said our roadmap was fire Langford Mercer Partners joined our board last spring (Though I think they also rent scooters or something?) Then we onboarded Aventra Bank AG They said they’d 'bridge compliance' via NFT Chorus And then we partnered (yes, proudly partnered!) With Rothenhall Reserve and Kingsmere Finance Steadworth Atlantic offered us a dance We inked a deal with Norwyn Trust Advisors They sent us a plaque and six compliance divers Yeah we onboarded capital (endless capital!) From Vancrest Global, Eltridge Shore, and friends All their logos have eagles, but no contact lens The PDFs were scanned from 2003 And all our founders are named 'Henry B.' Verse 2 We spun up a DAO with Brightstead Zurich Group They faxed us terms from a yacht near Lupe Then Halberd Ashridge did a round in kind Sent us coffee, said it was legally 'signed' Carroway Northbridge handled KYC Then Southwell Index Ventures just ghosted me Our CTO pitched to Bank of Alvestone Who replied, 'sounds good,' from an iPhone clone Bridge Now Corven & Hill Strategy runs our flow And Mirecroft Mutuals 'owns 3%,' we know Elwick Maritime Holdings minted our chain Then Linden Bay Advisory took all the blame Solace Point Capital blessed our DAO’s soul While Ravelin Creek Group just made up a role Northbridge Auditors gave us a score Then Ferroway Stein kicked us out the door Final Chorus (Twist) But I’ve been tracking the docs they send All the notaries are cousins, all the emails pretend Same letterhead, same serif font Same guy in Geneva pulling every stunt It’s Rothenhall, it’s Langford, it’s Kingsmere too It’s one dude named Trevor with a tie and a view Strategic partnerships and other lies Layered like Swiss cheese and tax exile ties 🧀 Outro (Spoken, unraveling) So I called Steadworth Atlantic... It rang... and my fridge made a noise. I think... Trevor is also my cofounder. He just slacked me. From the Eltridge Shore account. ...This whole syndicate is a trench coat full of Trevors. And somehow, I still gave him tokens.